Robin of Rockridge's Blog

AN ELF’S DAY OFF

Chapter One

Letters
When you think of elves in the North Pole,  you probably think of toymaking. The truth is that elves do many jobs in the North Pole, and Gildy worked at the post office.
Sorting mail is really a one-elf job, but elves are social creatures, and Gildy sometimes wished she had someone to talk to while she worked. The reindeer dropped by once in a while, but her hours were mostly solitary, prereading letters from children and tossing anything addressed to “occupant” and anything that smacked of adults trying to pass themselves off as children. An addition to the house indeed!
“Santa will get right on that,” Gildy grumped as she tossed the request in the trash.
She put requests for soccer balls, phones, ukuleles, and dollhouses in a red velvet bag and lugged the bag to the sled outside. As it was…

Do you like my mullet? I have a secret about my mullet. I started cutting my hair myself seven months before the shelter in place. Everyone’s posting pictures of their terrible quarantine haircuts and I’m posting mine like “OMG you guys isn’t it horrible how we can’t go to the salon?” I fit in for once. But no, what really happened was that last August my hairdresser moved away at the same time I happened to lose some income and I decided that no sane hairdresser would give me the mullet I’d wanted for a while and so I decided to do it myself. I’d had a really nice pixie cut. And it was just getting to mullet status when the salons all had to close. My friends on social media all knew about my mullet. I was proud of it. I posted pics asking whether it was long enough…

I have remembered what it felt like when I was a teen lying on my stomach. The other day it felt like there was something under my quads—a wadded up blanket or something. But no, it’s muscle.
Nine weeks ago I decided to do tai chi poses every day instead of once or twice a week. I also walk about half an hour a night, but it’s the tai chi stances building quad muscle. Welcome back, quads! I’ve missed you lo these twenty years.
One thing that’s remained consistent over the years is my hypochondria. Only it has shifted to parental worry. My teen, who has only left the house once or twice for things like drive-by parties with her dad and therefore has very little chance of having the Covid, has been sneezing with mild tummy discomfort the last few days. Yes she’s been eating sketch takeout and always…

I am not a psychologist. I’m merely an internal processor married to an external processor. But I think I might have some insight that can help you with your marriage if you’re a different kind of processor than your spouse.

It took me nearly twenty years to see how my husband’s being an external processor affected our marriage. First of all, I didn’t hear the terms internal processor/external processor until a few years into our marriage, and then I didn’t really think about which one I was and which one my husband was for years after that.

When I finally labelled my husband as an external processor, I realized that I had wasted much time trying to please him in ways that he didn’t really want to be pleased. Example: Once, my husband said that we should have dinner every night at 5:30. Together. At the dinner table. As an…

Depression. I have struggled with it for a long time, and I’m kind of surprised it’s not worse than it is now. I have done what I can. Daily walks, zoom chats, and practicing my instrument as if the world is going to resume business as usual someday and I can gig again.

Some people really miss hugs. That’s not what I miss. I miss chats that aren’t being recorded. I miss going to my mom’s house or my sister’s house or a long walk with a friend and saying what I really think without fear of those words getting to the wrong person. We’re all a little more careful on Zoom. Well, not all. Last week I was talking to someone and they said something about a leader of a country that made me nervous. I almost wanted to add “May he live forever,” just to be safe.

Honestly…